The Forgotten Childhood

" How early do we have the capacity to remember?" 

Chances are, if you think your earliest memory dates from your first year or even in the early of second year, it's not real, or at least not one you formed from actual experience. Components of early memories may be accurate, but memories recalled from first or second year of life are not reliable. According to a research done by a psychology professor from Harvard University, Jerome Kagan said that a child is starting to develop memory begins at the age of 9 months when children become less willing to leave their parents. Missing one's mother, he says, is a sign that the child has a clear memory of his or her mother just being there and so the child notices when she leaves. 

In The Secret Life of Bees, Lily's earliest memory was when she was four, the day her mother dies. In chapter one, she flashes back the only memory of her mother, which was from the day she dies. Lily remembers that her mother was packing frantically that day, and then T.Ray entered the house. Lily's mother became even more rushed with his presence. When T.Ray entered the room, they began to fight. Lily's mother then grabbed a gun. T.Ray grabbed the gun away and dropped it on the floor. Lily picked up the gun and as far as her memory goes, she thinks she shot her own mother.

"What's your earliest memory?" 

To be honest, when I first read the question, I could only think of a best friend of mine when I was 6 years old, staying in the United Kingdom. It is a boy and sadly, I can't remember his name. Let's just call him Ahmad as he is from Pakistan and a Muslim. I still remember the name of the school we went together, it was Forest Field primary and nursery school.

Back then in Nottingham, I started school late than other children. On my first day, I was very scared and shy as I didn't know how to speak English and what's worst is that there are only two Malaysian in the class, me and a boy. He didn't look friendly, so I decided not to talk to him. During recess, I was bullied by a group of girls (Yes, I was bullied on my first day! Imagine the bully scene that you probably have seen in typical English movies). That was the time I met Ahmad. He saved me from the mean girls and offer to play with me. Since then, I enjoy coming to school instead of feeling scared. We would play together during recess, share our food and help each other in class. 

I can't find any pictures in school or with Ahmad. This is the best I can get. It was taken during my school trip to Nottingham Castle Museum and Art Gallery.

One day, my teacher told us that we will have a farewell party for one of our classmates. During the party, I was called by the teacher to give the present she prepared for that person who is going to move. Turn out, it was Ahmad who was going to move and it was his last day! No wonder the teacher called me to give the present as Ahmad was my best friend. I was in a shock and denial that time. I can't believe he is moving back to Pakistan. How could he not tell me earlier? I cried when I gave him the present. Before we went back home, he told me that he does not want me to be sad, that's why he didn't tell me earlier about him moving. A few days after that, I had a fever (my teacher said maybe it is because I miss Ahmad, hahaha). Since then, I always pray that one day, I will meet Ahmad again and we would be best friends again.